blog • thoughts

Get through it, don’t lose it

You gotta choice and now you gotta choose it / Nobody sees what you see

Just do it / Just do it

Things are always easier with friends around you, I’ve said this a lot. But sometimes you won’t have that luxury. You have to get through it. You have to persevere through difficulty, you have to recognise your power to make a choice without the support of everybody around you, trust your own vision even if you feel alone in it, and act decisively. Some opportunities don’t come back.

Slipping Away - Sex Mex

I’m tired of runnin’ round lookin’ for / Answers to questions I already know

I could build me a castle with memories just to have somewhere to go

Count the days and the nights that it / Takes to get back in the saddle again

There is a strange calmness in desolation. ‘Tired of running round looking for answers to questions I already know’ speaks to what many people suffering from depression will know. The condition is internal, not external. The causes, the pressure, they are external, sure, but the condition and the state is self-imposed and internal. You can be acutely self-aware of this, and exhausted and frustrated with yourself, but continue because you simply have no other choice.

It is very hard to move past this and take responsibility, especially if you are surrounded by the same conditions which led you here in the first place.

Once you have been left with nothing, like we are in the song, it is somehow easier - with nothing to lose, there is everything to gain. Getting ‘back in the saddle again’ is not a triumphant victory over mental illness, nor a angry spiteful move, but a resigned necessity - there is simply nothing else that one can do other than get in the saddle again.

Clay Pigeons - Blaze Foley / John Prine

Did you ever lie and listen to the rainbow / Did you ever own a homemade apple pie

Did you ever see the funny side of losing / Did you ever sit right down and have a cry

Did you ever take the time to help a neighbour

Just don’t let the good life pass you by

Life can go by quickly. Enjoy it while it lasts, be kind, be thoughtful, and don’t waste it.

Don’t Let The Good Life Pass You By - Mama Cass

Got to keep on going like it ain’t the end / Got to change like your life is depending on it

It’s important to maintain the impression that everything is going okay even when it’s not. That isn’t to say don’t ask for help - your friends can help you through dark times and even save your life. But if you have the mindset that you will be okay and you will make it through, and there’s no other feasible possiblity, then you’ve just greatly improved your chances. It’s how Doctor Who survives all of their encounters - they simply survive, and work backwards from there.

Dance And Sing - Bright Eyes

This is the day / Your life will surely change

This is the day / When things fall into place

Life has its ups and downs, we all know this. But nothing is quite like seeing your own actions cause ups, and prevent downs. Keep taking care of yourself, and soon the day will come when things fall into place.

This Is the Day - The The

Just hold on / and don’t let go / Don’t let go the rope

No matter how hard life can get, I refer you to my June 4th thought on this.

The Rope - Wunderhorse

It’s just another day / Du du du du / It’s just another day

It can be easy to feel stuck in a cycle of loneliness and disappointment. Days can merge into each other. It’s important to take back agency of your own life.

Another Day - Paul McCartney

As soon as I wake up / Every night / Every day / I know that it’s you I need / To take the blues away

Madness is a band that reminds me a lot of my childhood, because my Dad used to play them all the time. They’re amazing.

It Must Be Love - Madness.

If I ever lose my eyes / Oh well, I won’t have to cry no more / Yes I’m being followed by a moonshadow

We often spend too much energy creating an imaginary persona to front to others, time that could be invested into bettering ourselves and adopting the persona we wish we had.

Moonshadow - Cat Stevens

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be - Kurt Vonnegut

Crashing waves, you’re thinking it’s all over… Still alive just waiting for the weekend

Always waiting for the weekend.

Bless This Acid House - Kasabian.

If there’s anything that you want / If there’s anything I can do / Just call on me and I’ll send it along / With love from me to you

Friends are everything. Make connections if it’s the only thing you do. The worst thing you can do is get a high-paying career, get incredibly fit, stay healthy, but have nobody to talk to, to confide in, who will help you when you need it.

From Me To You - The Beatles

You can’t start a fire without a spark / This gun’s for hire / Even if we’re just dancing in the dark

You cannot start life at Level 100. You cannot play the piano without learning it. You cannot do anything without starting it as a total beginner - and everybody did the same at some point.

Dancing in the Dark - Bruce Springsteen

As Sam Reich from CollegeHumour / Dropout says best:

The only way to learn is by playing, the only way to win is by learning, and the only way to begin is by beginning

When it’s cold I’d like to die

I wrote a short story based off this song.

When It’s Cold I’d Like To Die - Moby

Seems like everyone is out / Looking for the sun …/ But it’ll shine when it shines

Good things come to those who wait.

It’ll Shine When It Shines - The Ozark Mountain Daredevils

You are someone else / I am still right here

Hurt - Johnny Cash

I knew from miles away that I would detonate / I tried some magic tricks to skip my fate / And then gave up the ball as a defender

The trick was simply to surrender

Some things are inevitable. Fighting them can just make them worse. Prepare instead.

Letting Go - Angie McMahon

When you get that feeling / It’s gonna get you / It’s gonna get you in the end

I saw The Farm’s reunion tour last week, and it was excellent. Considering how long it’s been since their last album, I’m very satisfied.

Moment In Time - The Farm

How can you love me when you never get to see me / You might know me now but I used to I used to be fun

I used to be fun - Teen Jesus and the Jean Teasers. Discovered this band through a round of Music League for ‘most ridiculous band names’. Good song.

Oh, and our good time starts and end / without dollar one to spend

Love can be stretched to its extremes when confronted with financial problems. It does not always mean that the love is not strong enough if the relationship doesn’t last. Financial problems are a cruelty unique to the world we live in, and we only have one life to live.

Daydream Believer - The Monkees

A time to be born, a time to die

A time to plant, a time to reap

A time to kill, a time to heal

A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose. Everything has its time and place. You cannot be happy without being sad, because what is happiness without the comparison to your sadness? Somebody who is always happier is much less happy than somebody who finds happiness temporarily and sometime, like we all do.

Turn Turn Turn - The Byrds

It’s human nature to constantly think about the future - it’s good to practice not doing that.

I live for the moment / I cry when it’s over / so hold me like you should

All You Do - Magdalena Bay

Goddamn right, it’s a beautiful day

Sun is shining today, no clouds, no rain. It’s a beautiful day. Enjoy it.

Mr E’s Beautiful Blues - Eels

You’re dead but the world keeps spinning

Events keep happening after you die. People are born, other people die, warring countries make peace, other countries go to war. Politicians rise and fall, culture shifts and warps, and all of it while you’re gone. Don’t die too early, you’ll miss life going by.

Last Stop: This Town - Eels

Then put your little hand in mine / There ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb

Okay campers, rise and shine! And don’t forget your booties ‘cause it’s cold out there today!

I Got You Babe - Sonny & Cher. Groundhog Day is an over-hated film. Watch it if you haven’t. This song is absolutely incredible.

For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while / It’s something unpredictable / But in the end is right / I hope you had the time of your life

Everything ends eventually, especially the things you desperately don’t want to end. It’s important to remember this.

Good Riddance - Green Day

The feeling has gone, only you and I, it means nothing to me

Apparently, Midge Ure didn’t like the vibe of this song, and when he heard it in the studio, said ‘this means nothing to me’. So, he sang that. And what a great song it made.

Vienna - Ultravox

I let my music take me where my heart wants to go

This song reminds me of Ted Danson (Michael from the Good Place), I think it’s the opening song to his new show A Man on the Inside.

The Wind - Cat Stevens

Now I’ve been happy lately / Thinking about the good things to come

I’ve been smiling lately / Dreaming about the world as one

Cat Stevens is a really interesting singer. He has had a truly incredible and varied life. This album is my favourite.

Peace Train - Cat Stevens

Everything you is planned out in advance / and the stars push their dark wills down on you

You probably already know I don’t agree with this worldview. Fate is not real, and we can bend destiny if we try hard enough and are strong enough to withstand the consequences.

1:13 in this song is amazing, though.

Holy Fucking Shit: 40,000 - Have A Nice Life

There isn’t much / That I feel I need / A solid soul / And the blood I bleed

At the end of the day, if you retain your humanity, everything will be fine. You can lose your job, your partner, your friends, move country, break both legs and arms, shave your head, fail all your exams, but if you still view yourself as a person capable of being redeemed, it will work out in the end. My Girls - Animal Collective

I guess the best that I can do now / Is to pretend that I’ve done nothing wrong / And to dream about a train / That’s gonna take me back to where I belong

It is too easy to pretend we are infallible. We are not, nobody is. We all make mistakes, we all do things wrong. You have to own it and make sure you don’t spiral.

Another Travelin’ Song - Bright Eyes

This is the first day of my life / Swear I was born right in the doorway

Your’s is the first face that I saw / I think I was blind before I met you

I can’t remember where I read it, but someone said that if you did something as simple as going to the supermarket and experienced it genuinely and fully without the ‘goggles of habit’ you would simply go crazy with pure joy and overwhelming sensory experiences.

Nowadays, everything is taken for granted. We can have next-day, even same-day delivery, on millions of tiny trinkets that we don’t really need. We can have milk, cheese, meat, anywhere in the country, fresh, within an hour of anywhere. Every day. It is worth sometimes taking off the goggles of habit and appreciating how far we’ve come.

First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes

A flatmate introduced me to this song because of how similar it was vibes-wise to Souvenir by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark. She was right, and I love the song.

If I had a photograph of you / Or something to remind me / I wouldn’t spend my life just wishing

Wishing - A Flock of Seagulls

My feelings still remain / My feelings still remain

Souvenir - OMD

She asked me what I wanted / As if one ever really knew

And I said “Dull domestication free from pressure to pursue / Another love, another touch, another tired conversation”

It is easy to get disillusioned with the constant cycle of life, losing things, searching for things, finding things, and then losing them again. You need to re-establish your priorities, what you actually want for yourself, before you dive into the world.

104 Degrees - Slaughter Beach, Dog

I’m free / to do what I want / any old time

I’m free / to be who I choose / any old time

A recurring theme here is that we have free will. But genuinely, you are free to do what you want and be who you choose. In a world where you can be anything, choose to be kind.

I’m Free - The Soup Dragons

Comme une lueur de nuages s’envolant

“Like a glimmer of clouds floating away”. This lyric used to be my Discord status for over a year. I love Cortex.

Troupeau bleu - Cortex

Just when you think you’re in control / Just when you think you’ve got a hold

Just when you get on a roll / Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again

When you put in so much effort into making things go well, and they go wrong anyway, it can be easy to feel defeated.

Here It Goes Again - OK Go

it’s the end / and i’m okay with it

ok with it - lyn lapid